So… Your Ex Has a New Girlfriend

 

Yeah, I’m going there. You broke up..what… a couple months ago? A couple years ago? 10 years ago?! Regardless, it might suck to see him on Facebook with his arms around a new girl. And if it does, here’s what you should do-

 

Go to Your Girls

All those emotions you buried away and forgot about might be back. You thought you were over him? HA! Not if he is with someone else!! Suddenly, your mind is flooding with all the good memories. Is he taking her to the restaurant you two spent every anniversary at?? Are they jogging together like you guys used to?! Oh. My. Gosh. Is he comparing her to you in his head?!?!?!?

Girlllllll, you need to go straight to your girlfriends. Rant and rant and tell them everything that’s crossing your mind. Don’t ask for advice, just use them to bounce your thoughts off of. Tell them why it hurts. Tell them everything you’re thinking. Let it all out in that safe space.

Remember Why It’s Not You

Next, remember why you aren’t the one with him. Why DID you guys break up? Did you do it? Did he do it? Either way, there was a reason, wasn’t there? Maybe you were too strong-headed or he was too controlling. Maybe you were moving and he wanted to stay. Regardless, there was a reason it didn’t work. He’s with her because it didn’t work with you. Maybe it will work for them, because they don’t have the same issues you two did. Tough pill to swallow, huh?

Self-Improvement Obvi

Now that you’re feeling all down that she has something you don’t, or that he’s a better man to her than he was to you, it’s time to lift yourself back up. YOU’RE GREAT. It’s time to remind yourself of that. Whatever makes you feel good- head straight there. Hit the gym, pick up the guitar, read a self-improvement book. Curl your hair, put on those jeans that make you look gooood, and head downtown with your friends. You’re incredible. Him moving on does not discount that.

Be Big and Be Kind

This is the hardest one. And this is the most important one. First, eliminate any negative words you are about to use for her. You bashing her won’t change anything. Telling yourself/others that you’re prettier than her is immature. You need to be a big person, a kind person. Promise yourself you’ll never let anyone hear you speak ill of her. In fact, you don’t even know her. How could you possibly talk bad about her? Trash talking her to your friends is not the way to lift yourself back up. I’m over girls hating girls because of a boy. She’s probably nice. She’s probably funny. She’s probably beautiful. Let her be those things… in your mind, and in others’ minds. Rise above the petty crap. Focus on you, and let them be happy.

I’m not saying any of this is easy, but I am saying that kindness is the best policy. You cared about him at some point; do your best to wish him well. He deserves love. So does she. And so do you. 

 

Be confident.     Be gracious.     Be kind.

 

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