How to Handle Being Dumped (From an Expert)
Me. I’m the expert. I have been dumped more than my fair share of times, and I will say that I do believe I am fairly good at it. How can you be good at that, you ask?
- Quick Recovery Time
- Able to Feel all the Feels
- Minimal Alcohol and Excessive Sex and the City
- Picking my Girlfriend (whaaat? keep reading 🙂 )
Now, how, you will wonder… how can I be as good at getting dumped as Erika is? (I’m sure this is something you are all looking to add to your resume.) Well, here it is, friends. My debatably foolproof way to successfully handle being dumped.
Cry it Out
I think the first step to successfully handling a dumping is crying until you can’t cry anymore. It can be alone, with a friend, to your dog- whoever. Just let yourself feel really pathetic and cry about how no one is ever going to love you. I’d suggest going through at least one box of tissues (or roll of toilet paper if you really want to feel like a pathetic piece of sh**….I always go toilet paper…feels more dramatic.) But seriously, just cry. Cry and cry and wallow until you can’t anymore.
Do Something to Feel Like a New Human
Go make some ridiculous change to your appearance to really show him who’s boss. Pierce your belly button, get a tiny meaningless tattoo (okay maybe don’t do that), cut off your hair, dye it blue.** Just do something to feel hot and cool and that he has no part of. Do it just for you. Along with this- use this as a push for self-improvement. Start hitting the gym. Start focusing more on school. Make some goals! Channel your inner #girlboss.
**disclaimer- you will probably regret any or all of these things but I’m advocating for it anyway
Find a Girlfriend Instead
Nope, not talking about switching fields (unless that’s your thing, then go for it.) I’m talking about using your girlfriends as your boyfriend. Instead of date night on Friday, have girls night. Instead of movies and cuddling with a dude, snuggle up with your besties and watch the Notebook. Vent to your best girlfriend instead of your ex. One of the hardest parts of a breakup isn’t losing that specific person, but losing a person to do all your life stuff with. Use this time to strengthen your friendships rather than jumping quickly to a new relationship to fill that void.
I love making lists. I especially love making lists after I’ve just gotten dumped. Make a list of things that make you happy. Make a list of goals you have for the week, for the month. Go ahead and make a list of things you’ll miss about him. Then go ahead and throw that away. Next, make a list of things you won’t miss. Reread that list every time you miss him. I know this sounds cheesy, but it really does help. Make a list of things you want in your next man. Make a list of things you love about yourself.
I want to tell you that while all of these things will absolutely help you, they won’t cure your heartbreak. Healing is a slow, relentless process. Some days will be harder than others. Many days will be better than others. Hang in there. Coming from someone who is a professional dumpee, YOU CAN DO IT.
Now, what are your tricks for handling being dumped? (I’ll probably need them again someday 😉 )
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