How to Deal with People You Don’t Want to Deal with

UGHHHH, just reading that title, I bet you already have someone, or many someones, in mind! If not, here are some examples to jump start the part of your brain that stores all of the people you don’t like. (hahaha sorry to start your day with that!)

 

Why might you not want to deal with someone?
  1. They just have an vibe you don’t really like
  2. It feels like they complain about anything and everything
  3. They don’t like you
  4. You have to do more at work because they slack off
  5. They’re dating your ex
  6. etc. etc. etc. You’ve got to have someone on your mind by now.

 

I’ll be the first to admit that there are people I know that some days, or every day, I just don’t want to deal with.

How not to deal:
  • Actively/Rudely ignore them
  • Snap at them when they annoy you
  • Whisper behind their back, with the risk they may hear you
  • Glare at them
  • Say anything remotely mean/rude/unnecessary/causing conflict
How TO deal:
  • Shoot them a smile, maybe exchange a few pleasantries, and then get back to your own life. You don’t have to spend an hour chatting, but you should at least be friendly.
  • Respect/consider that they might not want to deal with you either.
  • Try to put yourself in their shoes. Actually, don’t try to. Just do it. Set your own feelings aside, and imagine how they feel/think.
    • Make up scenarios to help yourself be kind if you need to. For example-
      • Maybe they slack off at work because life is hard at home.
      • Maybe it only feels like they don’t like you because they’re too shy to talk to you.
      • Maybe your ex’s new girlfriend feels just as uncomfortable around you as you feel around her.
      • Maybe your boss is really strict lately because her boss is getting strict with her.
  • This is really hard sometimes, but try your best to find one trait in this person that you do indeed like. Focus on that. My favorite quote is: “See the light in others, and treat them as if that is all you see.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer
  • None of that helps? Worst case, realize it’ll be over soon; you’re not going to be with this person 24/7. Be the bigger person while you are with them. Be petty about it later when you’re alone in the shower.

It sucks, but sometimes, you just gotta be the bigger/better person. There will be people you don’t like, but in my opinion, people shouldn’t know who you don’t like. It’s way better to be someone that seems to get along with everyone than to be someone who talks bad about everyone. I’m not saying any of this is easy. In fact, it’s really damn hard. If you don’t want to deal with someone, you don’t want to deal with them. But as I’m growing into a full blown adult {scary}, I’m learning that you have two options when dealing with someone you don’t like:

  1. You can be rude, negative, and self-centered      OR
  2. You can be the bigger person, and always be kinder than necessary

Number two sounds like the obvious answer, but it is much harder. In my opinion, though, kindness, while more difficult, is better for you, and for the person you don’t particularly want to deal with. 

 

My mantra: “Kill them with kindness.”

 (Shout out to Selena Gomez)

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