The Simple Way I Reached a Much Happier Life
And the confidence blooms..
Something weird happens as you grow up. I imagine this happens at different times for different people, and I can’t imagine that it’s unwavering. but;
I live with two very beautiful girls. One girl is thin, naturally toned, good with her makeup/hair, has good style, and every boy wants to spend more time with her. The other has the cutest hair/style, incredibly musically talented, and the cutest personality of anyone I’ve ever met. Most guys I know would spend forever with her, as well. Moving in with them was hard on my self-esteem. While I’ve always had beautiful friends that I was jealous of, actually living with human forms of my insecurities was much harder than I anticipated.
At first, I was afraid they wouldn’t like my clothes. I was worried they would notice how little I know about makeup, or realize that the only reason my hair is natural is because I wouldn’t know how do anything with it if I wanted to. They flirted with the guys, and I voluntarily stood in their shadows. I just assumed everyone would like them better, want them more, and find them more interesting.
I used to be afraid to speak for fear of how others would respond. What if she doesn’t agree with me? What if he thinks I’m stupid? What if they think I’m bitchy/ spoiled/ ignorant/ entitled/ annoying/ dumb/ etc.?? Certainly they’ll notice my curvy body. Certainly they’ll think I’m weird. Certainly they won’t like me.
When it all Changed
But then, one day, something weird happened. Suddenly, I felt beautiful without a trace of makeup. Suddenly, rather than hoping the boys liked my body, I worried more about whether or not I liked theirs. Suddenly, who I was seemed good enough. I didn’t feel so incredibly jealous all day, every day. Suddenly, I was happy just to be me. I still get nervous to meet new people, and I still find myself afraid to speak for fear of what people could think, but not nearly as badly as before.
I’m definitely a little curvy, I do have a big nose and the lack of knowledge of how to contour it, I am not very athletic, I don’t have a ton of friends, I’m no genius, I do have a very fragile heart, I do overthink, I am all kinds of “negative” things. But I’m also happy to be me.
I like myself · I dive into travel · I’m passionate about peoples’ depths · I have bright eyes · I am intelligent · I am kind · I have an incredible body · I eat healthily · I save spiders rather than killing them · I notice every sunset · I notice every person
I used to be unsure of myself, but suddenly, something weird happened, and I no longer cared at all. Don’t get me wrong- I still do have days where I envy my friends. But now, instead of a painful envy, I marvel at each of us, beautifully, brilliant in our own ways.
Here are a few ways you can begin to feel this way too;
First: Every morning, before you leave, look in the mirror and find one thing you feel really confident about. Whether it’s your outfit, your eyes, or just your good mood, it’s important to acknowledge it. Keep that one thing in mind all day.
Second: Let yourself admire your friends. It’s okay to adore how nice your friend is. Use it as motivation to become nicer, as well. The things you envy don’t have to be permanent; you get to decide who/how you want to be.
And finally, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but a huge chunk of genuine confidence is just deciding to like yourself. Hate to break it to you- but you have no other choice but to be you. Your face is the face you’ll have for life, so why not like it? Stop picking it apart and tearing yourself down. Make the decision to like the way you look. It’s not changing anytime soon. There are way too many great things about life to be shadowed by a negative self image.
One last thing;
If you haven’t heard of Raw Beauty Talks, you should totally go check them out. They are: “an interview series featuring women without make-up, photo editing or filters with a goal of starting a global conversation about beauty, confidence and self love.” If you know me at all, you know I’m grossly into the Bachelor, and a HUGE fan of Kaitlin Bristowe. She is totally hilarious, but more importantly, beams confidence and encourages other girls to do the same. Click Here to see her Raw Beauty Interview.
I challenge you this week to end negative self talk.
There’s so much more for us, you guys.
There’s such a better life waiting for you once you can just let go of all of that.