What I Wish I Could Tell My Freshman Self
I only have six more months of college. Everyone told me it would go quickly, but I didn’t realize HOW quickly. I feel like just yesterday I was moving all my stuff into the dorms, and now I’m thinking about what I’m going to do after I get that darn graduation cap. While it did fly by, it’s crazy to think about how much I’ve changed/grown since then. Poor little freshman me had no idea what was about to hit her. Here’s an open letter to that young, dumb girl.
Your Body is Fine
Ohhh dear Erika. I know you hate your body. I know you think your thighs are huge. I know the girl down the hall is 5’7 and 115 lbs. I know you’re terrified to wear a swimsuit. But girl, you are stunning. If you want to hit the gym regularly and avoid dessert in the dining hall, go for it. But don’t you dare punish yourself for missing a workout. Don’t you dare not eat lunch because you and your friends ordered pizza at midnight last night. I know you won’t believe me, but in a few years, you’ll be wishing you had the body you have now. You look incredible. You’re beautiful. And any man (or woman) that tells you otherwise is not worth your time. Strive for health and confidence over being skinny. Your hips aren’t ever getting any smaller, so embrace those curves, girlfriend.
Everything is Temporary
School is stressful, huh? Trying to keep that regents scholarship makes you want to explode. But girl, you’re going to spend hours calculating grades to ensure you keep it- and then you’re going to lose it after sophomore year, anyway. It’ll feel like the world is crashing down, and you’ll feel like the biggest failure in the world. But it’ll pass. That spiraling depression will pass too. Your scars will heal, and you will come out stronger. The arguments with your friends will blow over, and you will even lose some of those friends. It all hurts, I know. But the good news is, everything truly is temporary. No matter how dark the night, the sun will rise again in the morning. Hang in there.
Your Heart Will Heal
Broke up with the high school boyfriend again, eh? Man, breakups suck. I understand how badly you want to get back together. I know it feels like you could never love anyone else, but you will. Eventually, seeing him on campus won’t hurt so badly. You won’t always feel sick to your stomach when you see him with another girl. Every day will get a little easier. Your heart will heal. In a while, you’ll love someone new. Your heart will be broken a few more times, but you’ll get better at handling it. Love is tough. The aftermath is even worse. I know it feels like it now, but hearts don’t stay shattered forever. Be kind, understanding, and patient as love comes and goes. You’ll heal.
Your Classes Are Important
I know this seems obvious, but trust me, you’ll slip. Those little assignments you keep skipping? They all add up to quite a big portion of your grade. Before Christmas break, you’re going to stay up for an entire night writing a 20-page paper while your friends hangout. Girl, I know it’s easier said than done, but start your paper before the night it’s due. It’ll be less stressful, and you’ll get a better grade. Also to get better grades, go to class. I know no one is making you, so it’s hard, but just go. Once you’re there, it’s not bad. You like learning; don’t forget that. You’re not going to become a badass, intelligent, girlboss by watching Netflix all day.
Stop searching through Instagram to see what everyone else is wearing to the frat parties. Wear what you want to wear. Wear what makes you feel good. They’re frat parties- trust me, they don’t matter. On that note, if you don’t like frat parties, you don’t have to go. You’d rather spend time in a small circle of friends- that’s okay. You don’t have to be like everyone else. What makes you different is what makes you special. I know everything feels cliquey and I know you feel like everyone thinks less of you when you say you’re not in a sorority. Own it. Own being you. You’re smart and you care about things other people don’t. Do what you want. Be what you want. Stop trying to be like everyone else. Stay grounded, though. You’re not better because you’re not in a sorority. You’re not superior because you don’t like frat parties. You’re just different. We’re all just different. Lastly, if you think the newest trends are ugly, don’t buy them! For God’s sake, don’t buy a shirt you hate just because everyone is wearing it. *face palm*
Maybe in five years, I can write another letter to my current dumb self. (Hey future me, I could use any advice you have to offer. Maybe we can get ahead of the game this time, and I can get the letter before this time has passed.)
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